


Just me

by moni26



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Out of Character, Plot Twists, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moni26/pseuds/moni26
Summary: At this point in life Magnus was positive that hearing others thoughts was a curse, and one that would always torture him. In a prospect like that another Saturday evening alone suddenly didn't sound so bad. It would surely be better than this. As if to confirm his statement, the thoughts coming from the guy across echoed through Magnus's brain once again, way more clear than Magnus would have preferred, as if he hadn't been trying to dull them for the past ten minutes./I have been on a dry spell lately, but I'm sure I can show Alec a good time. It's all a matter of discipline.../
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 24
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure this turned out the way I wanted (hides somewhere :)), but I've had a hard time writing lately, so I made myself write a one shot and post it today like a challenge. This is what it turned out to be. Hope it's not too bad. I may edit it or change it sometime.
> 
> For those who are following ''Respect, Trust and Love'', I'll go back to posting new chapters, don't worry. I love that story and I miss spending time on it.

Magnus sighed heavily and dramatically, leaning his back against his chair, wishing to shut out any noise and dull any sound. His mood was increasingly getting worse and he knew he probably had a grim expression taking over his face.

He should be someplace quiet. He should be someplace isolated. He definitely shouldn't still try to drink his barely touched coffee, nervously tapping his foot on the floor surface of a crowded diner, trying to distract himself.

He couldn't distract himself. The noise was everywhere. Magnus gritted his teeth and cursed himself for not taking his pills before going out.

On a good day he could afford not taking them and still being able to shut out most of the sounds. Limit them as much as possible and pretend to be like everyone else. This wasn't a good day. Magnus was on the verge of having a serious headache which he did not look forward to suffer through.

He started massaging his temples, his body tense and his eyes closed.

People who believed hearing other people's thoughts was fun were only under that impression because they haven't tried that for hours on end, and clearly haven't struggled with it for 32 years.

Magnus was long past the point when he would try to listen on purpose, invading others privacy. He was past the point of being even remotely curious about his so called gift, why he had it, or the fact that he had never met anyone else like him.

Curiosity? What's that? All he wanted was some peace and quiet.

Most of the voices were quiet enough that if Magnus doesn't concentrate on them, they became nothing more than a subtle buzzing in the background, able to be ignored. But then there were the loud and persistent ones...

_/This is our third date. He must know what that means. I wonder if we'll go to my place or his place for dessert. Shit, did I bring condoms? Oh... no worries, I did. In the inside pocket of my coat. Safety first.../_

Magnus huffed under his breath, opening his eyes and giving up on managing his headache.

The voice was coming from a guy two rolls of tables apart from him on the other side of the diner and yet, Magnus couldn't shut it out. It wasn't unusual, some voices were always more persistent than others, especially if the person was excited, impatient, anxious, or otherwise high on emotion. Magnus knew he couldn't rationally blame the guy, but he felt mad irritation towards him anyways, barely restricting himself from glaring in his direction.

The guy in question was an average looking man, stuffing pieces of steak in his mouth enthusiastically, like he was in a hurry to finish it and leave with his date. His date was sitting with his back to Magnus, unable to be seen from the angle Magnus's table was positioned.

Magnus averted his eyes, trying to distance himself from the voice one more time. If it doesn't work, he would probably leave even before this couple does, ready to surrender and have some quiet.

At this point in life Magnus was positive that hearing others thoughts was a curse, and one that would always torture him. In a prospect like that another Saturday evening alone suddenly didn't sound so bad. It would surely be better than this. As if to confirm his statement, the thoughts coming from the guy across echoed through Magnus's brain once again, way more clear than Magnus would have preferred, as if he hadn't been trying to dull them for the past ten minutes.

_/I have been on a dry spell lately, but I'm sure I can show Alec a good time. It's all a matter of discipline.../_

Magnus dropped his hands heavily on the table and asked for the check resignedly. He was definitely leaving.

One more weekend by himself was alright. He wasn't even sure of his intentions when he got here. He had been wandering around the streets, almost feeling like looking for something, when he found himself in this place with no coherent goal in his mind.

And it wasn't like he was looking for a new relationship. God, no! Keep those away from him! The last one still brought a bad taste in his mouth. It had been simply disastrous. As the relationship before that. And the relationship before that. No matter how much he hadn't wanted to hear his partner's thoughts about him, he was bound to do it some day. It was always a disaster from then on. The only thing quieting down all voices were the mixture of pills Magnus was taking, but they couldn't affect him all day. And this morning he had discovered he will ran out of them soon and foolishly decided to try not taking them. Bad move.

_ /I wonder if Alec has brought condoms as well. I don't buy his innocent attitude. Three whole dates and we've barely even kissed. I'm sure he just plays hard to get on purpose. I can tell he's more than ready to put out. If he's into playing games, we'll find use of that. Hope he likes roleplay.../ _

Magnus rolled his eyes, unable to stop himself.

A minute later the guy excused himself, probably to go to the restroom, his thoughts fading considerably as he went away, giving Magnus a well-deserved break. Hopefully the waitress will give Magnus his check before the guy comes back.

Magnus was considering whether to try finishing his coffee or not, when from the corner of his eye he saw the guy's date (Alan was it? No- Alec) putting his fork down, moving across their table and reaching to where the guy's coat was folded, deftly taking something out of it before putting it back in place. 

Magnus couldn't be sure what he took because of the distance and the angle, but for a second he could swear it was a pack of condoms. The ones that guy had been mentally braging for carrying. 

Magnus blinked, suddenly starting to watch more carefully. The waitress left him the bill, but Magnus barely registered that, being focused on the guy's date, Alec, getting up from the table to go to the nearest trash can, throwing away what Magnus believed were the pack of condoms.

Magnus blinked again. 

Strange decision aside, but how did he...? How did he know... where to find them in the first place?

The way he took them had been calculated and intentional. Magnus knew they were in the coat because the guy had been thinking about it, but how did Alec...?

When Alec went to return to his seat, Magnus caught his first look at him for a short moment; messy dark hair pulled back from his eyes, well expressed features and full lips, a light smile playing on them. Like he had done something mischievous.

Magnus didn't deliberately start hearing his thoughts. It was because his focus had been on him and that triggered his ability to isolate Alec's inner voice from the soft buzzing of all the others, making it distinguishable enough for Magnus to understand.

_ /Next time Lydia and John should come with us to make it a double date. Not that it's too boring now, but... roleplay? How did we get here?.../ _

Magnus stared incredulously, his body slowly starting to shudder.

_ /More people mean more noise, but Lydia knows how to block me. Can never know what she thinks if she doesn't want me to.../ _

Magnus's eyes went wide, disbelief slithering through his bones to his core, questioning if he was going insane.

He most likely was! 

Magnus was the only one, there was never anyone like him, no one could do what Magnus could, it had always been this way! 

Just him.

Always just him for as long as he could remember.

He was beginning to stare so hard at Alec's back, he could burn holes in it. His concentration was greater than ever in his overwhelming need to hear more of Alec's inner voice, to reveal more of his secret thoughts, to make sure that he was just mistaking and imagining things, because that was all there is, a mistake! Magnus had interpreted everything wrong, Alec could not hear thoughts too, it was not possible!

Then Alec suddenly froze, the flow of his thoughts cutting off in a way Magnus had never experienced before and never come across. Magnus realised that beyond all belief he couldn't access Alec's thoughts anymore.

Magnus was still glaring at his back, the object of his attention sitting as if he was afraid to move, afraid to budge.

Does he know what Magnus is thinking? Could he hear him at the moment? Does he know that Magnus was on the verge of freaking out, second-guessing his sanity?

Like a reply to that, Alec broke his stoic posture and turned around, his head going straight to Magnus's direction and finding him in the crowded diner, their eyes locking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so thankful for all the positive feedback after I posted what is now chapter one! You guys are amazing ;)

Magnus had almost been on the verge of declaring himself insane once and for all, his heart beating so fast comparable only to the racing of a cheetah running in search for its pray, his face hot and burning while a whirlpool of controversial emotions were fighting for reign.

Until Alec turned around. Until Magnus truly met his eyes when Alec was looking back at him with an expression filled with wonder and more questions that Magnus assumed were similar to his.

After this, Magnus was no longer afraid he was losing his mind. He was no longer convinced this was a mistake. He stopped searching for a more rational explanation of what it all meant, the desire to come up with a different answer and clear everything out dissipated.

Instead, his brain began coming up with confirmations of the most plain answer out there, pointing out evidence after evidence filtered through questions which could be answered only one way.

Why had Alec froze in his seat for that single moment after Magnus started doubting everything? Why were Alec's thoughts still unreachable to Magnus? Why had Alec turned around to dazedly meet Magnus's own puzzled expression?

Because Magnus was not the only one. 

Because this boy with dark locks and eyes observing with awe had the same gift.

Everything lined up, leading to the same resolve.

Alec had the same gift and he had heard Magnus thinking about him. He was bound to hear that, since Magnus's thoughts must have turned louder and louder due to his shock, catching the attention of Alec just as Alec's date had caught the attention of Magnus with its loud mental volume.

But hearing Magnus wasn't the only thing Alec could evidently do. He could also prevent Magnus from listening to his inner voice any further. When Magnus repeatedly focused to make out Alec's thoughts, there was still nothing.

How was he doing that, Magnus couldn't grasp.

Alec grabbed the back of his chair like he wanted to move or do something, his face starting to portray internal war, but there was something so warm in it too. Inviting almost.

The next moment an overwhelming rambling filled Magnus's ears and he saw Alec's date coming back.

Alec's head snapped back at the guy taking his place back on their table, the eye contact he and Magnus had shared was severed abruptly when Alec turned the other way.

Magnus wanted it back.

Because if Alec was no longer staring back at him, Magnus was afraid he would face the incredulity of the whole thing again, go back to questioning what he had discovered again. He needed the eye contact to feel it.

Magnus waited for the next few moments but nothing happened, the couple he was watching were interacting as before. He looked back at his check, his hands fidgeting while he was paying.

Should he... leave? His heart was heavy at the prospect of just walking out of this, feeling like he would lose so much if he just-

_/No, don't go!/_

The request, which sounded more like a plea, broke the unsettled strain Magnus was going to drown in, and sent a thrill of reassurance through his veins. Magnus easily recognised the sound of Alec's inner voice again.

_/Please, don't go. Just give me a few minutes./_

Magnus hang onto the voice, absorbing every word, expecting to hear more but there was no more.

This wasn't how he normally heard the thoughts of others. Instead, these were a couple of straightforward sentences which were clearly meant for him, almost like spoken to his face.

Alec undoubtedly had control over what Magnus heard or didn't hear from him, using that as a way to communicate with Magnus from a distance by structuring a plain sentence in his head and making it reach Magnus.

So Magnus changed his approach and went back to concentrating on whatever the guy beside Alec was thinking. From what Magnus could gather Alec was trying to cut their date short, telling his boyfriend he was feeling unwell.

What followed was a strongly mentally expressed disappointment from the other guy, consisting of some profanity which made Magnus wonder why was Alec dating the man at all, even more so when Alec could hear what was passing through the man's head too.

Soon Alec convinced him not to bother to drive him home, apparently coming up with some excuses like he didn't want to cause him any more trouble, or he had already called someone to pick him up. Things along those lines which Magnus managed to understand from the man beside Alec, not without some effort, because the man's thoughts had turned into a mess now, as he was getting more and more discouraged, not grasping what he had done wrong to have his long awaited evening end this way.

_/Meet me in the parking lot at the back./_

Magnus didn't need to be told twice. He soon moved his ass to the exit, not having any idea what happens next but with a lucid determination to find out.

The parking lot was a public place too but relatively small, a bunch of cars left on the side but thankfully not many people around at this time of evening, creating a sharp contrast to the full diner, making all the difference Magnus was glad for. His previous headache had started to reduce, overshadowed anyway by the unexpected new development.

Not too long after, Magnus noticed Alec and his pulse picked up speed again.

"Hello," Alec said simply after coming closer and stopping at a talking distance, Magnus having a better look at him and hearing him actually speak for the first time. His voice sounded a little different than it had been in his thoughts, the tone more polite and tactful than the one he had used while giving Magnus requests and instructions. He looked nervous and out of his depth, but his expression was still somehow inviting and soft, his hazel eyes appearing open and earnest, waiting expectantly for what Magnus would say next.

"Hi," Magnus responded, going for that.

Alec offered him a smile in return. "My name is Alec Lightwood. It's nice to meet you," he added, keeping up the politeness, almost as if he was following a proper etiquette.

Magnus would follow one too, if he had any idea of what that would be. What was the etiquette when your whole life you've never met anyone like you, just so one day you could stumble upon such a person randomly and out of the blue?

"Magnus Bane," he introduced himself, going by the example Alec had set.

"Unusual name," Alec commented pensively. Then he looked back at Magnus with uncertainty as if was worried he had insulted him. "But I like it," he amended quickly. "It's unusual, but nice. It suits you."

"It does?" Magnus questioned challengingly, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, it's sort of unique and you look like... someone unique."

Magnus knew what Alec meant. He meant his flashy clothes, the two noticeable long necklaces entwined with each other around his neck, and the rings covering both of his hands.

It was an effort he was making for himself and not for other people, at times witnessing the opposite effect on them anyway when offensive and prickly remarks of strangers were being thrown his way occasionally on the street, or more often when Magnus would just hear their disapproving thoughts when he was passing by. 

But he wasn't being dictated by their standards and didn't know why he should. If some people minded the way he went about taking care of his appearance, that was their problem. It wasn't Magnus's job to please anyone.

"Well, I'm glad you approve of my looks," Magnus followed half-heartedly, but with a sharp and sarcastic hint in his voice.

Alec dropped his gaze, putting one of his hands in his pocket with hesitation, the unease taking over his previously warm expression and Magnus regretted instantly for being harsh and causing that.

This boy was the only one sharing the same gift as Magnus. And yet, leave it to Magnus to chase him away just because he likes to be salty.

"You don't know anyone else like you?" Alec questioned, this time with curious undertone, clearly hearing Magnus's train of thought now, no doubt back at the diner too.

Magnus shook his head. "Do you know others?"

"Yes, I... I do," Alec easily responded, making Magnus take a step back, not expecting the answer he received.

Was there a club of such people Magnus had spent half his life not knowing about? Where does he sign up for it?

"No, not like that," Alec picked up to explain with shreds of amusement. "I was talking about my sister and my father. They are like me. Don't you have a sibling who is as well?''

Oh, Magnus realised. _Oh._ Siblings. Family members.

Alec was watching him quizzically but Magnus wouldn't know about that. He had no family.

Alec's expression shifted at trying to understand and read the situation.

"Would you stop listening to what I think?" Magnus said sharply to him.

At first, Alec hearing his thoughts hadn't been bothering him that much, but it was starting to feel more uncomfortable, Alec repeatedly answering to thoughts and not to words Magnus had said aloud.

Magnus had never had that happened to him before, he was usually the one who could hear everything, who had the opportunity to know. He was never on the other side of that. But when the novelty of that experience wore off, it was irritating.

"I'm sorry," Alec apologised, sounding sincere. "I'll stop. I'm not listening anymore."

Yeah, like Magnus could tell if he was, or wasn't. He couldn't, all he had to work with was Alec's word to take at face value.

"Why can't I hear you?" Magnus wanted to know.

"Because I blocked you," he admitted, stepped from foot to foot guiltily.

"Can you unblock me?"

"Yes."

"Well?" Magnus waited in expectation.

"I'd rather not," Alec replied firmly, his eyes shining with another apology to soften his response.

Magnus was having none of it. "You don't play fair, do you Alec?" he observed, clicking his tongue.

"You can block me too. I can show you how,'' Alec offered helpfully and politely.

Always with the politeness...

Magnus cocked his head and hummed rather than give another answer, watching the hope in Alec's face, his messy hair seeming somehow soft when the sun threw its final rays at his profile, preparing to set and disappear beyond the horizon.

Learning more about his gift had ceased to be something Magnus was interested in, but with the new development ahead he couldn't help but think... _it could be fun._

It felt like a challenge to him, to explore how he could reach Alec's thoughts again. And where did Alec's politeness stretched to. He had never interacted with someone with the same ability and he sensed a shred of a long forgotten enthusiasm telling him to discover, and also a desire to learn everything Alec knew and show him that he couldn't just block Magnus and play unfair after.

It was that, that impulse and inspiration to explore and... even defeat Alec at this, the idea of such challenge making him interested.

It could be fun, Magnus thought again with a tilt of his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment with your thoughts if you like.  
> Thank you :)

**Author's Note:**

> Drop a comment with your thoughts if you like.  
> Thank you :)


End file.
